She's Back
by DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: Originally posted as one-shots, I decided to make this into a muti-chapter story. What happens when Alex comes back from WitSec? Will she and Olivia be able to work things out? Told in the second person POV.
1. Sometime Around Midnight

Title: Sometime Around Midnight

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Rating: K+

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, a box of old candy canes, and a laptop I got for my birthday.

Author's Note 2: This is a one-shot based on the song "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event. I don't own them or this song.

_._

* * *

_And it starts sometime around midnight or at least that's when you lose yourself for a minute or two as you stand under the bar lights. And the band plays some song about forgetting yourself for a while. And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to her smile. And that white dress she's wearing, you haven't seen her for a while. But you know that she's watching. She's laughing, she's turning, she's holding her tonic like a crux._

It was just supposed to be a normal night out with the unit. Casey had won the most recent case and it was time to celebrate. Everyone was congratulating you because, ultimately, it was you that cracked the case and found the evidence Casey needed to lock away the most recent monster.

As it nears midnight, you and Elliot are the only ones remaining at the booth. Everyone else has gone home for the night. Elliot mumbles something about needing to use the bathroom and leaves you at the table.

That's when you see her. She's at the far end of the bar; wearing that little white summer dress you're so fond of, and those adorable black glasses that frame her glowing blue eyes and get your blood boiling. You can see her watching you out of the corner of her eye even as she turns away. You feel a pang of jealousy when she laughs at something the man standing next to her says and he pushes a strand of her blond hair back behind her ear. She's holding her drink like a shield, making it obvious to you that she doesn't want to be anywhere near him.

_The room's suddenly spinning; she walks up and asks how you are. So you can smell her perfume, you can see her lying naked in your arms. And so there's a change in your emotions. And all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind. Of the curl of your bodies like two perfect circles entwined._

You down the rest of your drink and close your eyes against the onslaught of memories that come rushing back. Not that it works because you can smell her perfume; you can see her lying naked in your arms.

Her voice brings you back to the present; her hand on your shoulder reawakening feelings you have long since locked away. Before you can answer, the man comes up and pulls her away from you.

_And you feel hopeless and homeless and lost in the haze of the wine. And she leaves with someone you don't know. But she makes sure you saw her, she looks right at you and bolts. As she walks out the door, your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes. And your friends say "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost." And you walk under the streetlights. And you're too drunk to notice that everyone's staring at you. You don't care what you look like; the world is falling around you._

She makes eye contact with you before she walks out the door. You can see the apprehension etched all over her face, but there's a look in her eyes you can't completely define. You're sure it's the same look she sees in your eyes.

Elliot returns to the table. He notices your changed demeanor and tells you that you look like you've seen a ghost. She might as well be a ghost, you think. You lie to him easily, telling him that you've had too much to drink and you think you'll head home. He offers to get you a cab, but you decline, claiming the walk isn't too far and the cool air will do you some good. He lets you go, but not without a fight and he makes you promise to call him as soon as you get in your apartment.

You stumble your way down the street, not noticing the pitying glances cast at you. All you can focus on is the feeling of your neat little world falling apart around you.

_You just have to see her to know that she'll break you in two._


	2. Everything

Title: Everything

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Rating: K+

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, a box of old candy canes, and a laptop I got for my birthday. This story was inspired by the song "Be Your Everything" by Boys Like Girls.

Author's Note 2: Unlike my previous stories, the lyrics in italics in this story will **not** reflect what is happening in the story. They are showing more of what Olivia is thinking. Let me know if that doesn't make sense.

Author's Note 3: The last two lines of this story are borrowed from one of the Harry Potter books (I can't remember which one. I think it may have been 7). I certainly don't own them. That pleasure goes to the magnificent JK Rowling.

.

* * *

Your drunken stumbling somehow manages to get you to her apartment. Part of you wonders if she even still lives there, but your question is answered when she opens the door. You don't even remember knocking.

You can tell by the tears in her eyes that she's alone. In this moment she's more vulnerable than you can ever remember seeing her. You want nothing more than to take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay, but you don't.

She can sense your apprehension, so she takes you by the hand and pulls you into her apartment. It's exactly the same as the last time you saw it, except the pictures of you and her are gone, replaced by pictures of her and the man from the bar. That has an immediate sobering effect.

She whispers your name, effectively bringing you out of your thoughts. You get the sudden urge to run from whatever those beautiful lips of hers are about to say.

One would assume you would have forgotten how she acted when she was about to deliver bad news to you, but they'd be wrong. You remember everything as clearly as if you saw it every day. You know she starts by pushing her glasses back into place, as if creating a barrier between you and her; you know she shifts her glowing blue eyes away from your brown ones; you know that she bites her bottom lip, like she's desperately trying to hold back the words; most importantly to you, however, you know that she tightens her grip on your hand, as if the small comfort with soften the blow of the harsh words.

You remember the last time she used this technique to deliver bad news to you. It was a night quite unlike tonight, about three weeks before she was thrown into Witness Protection. You had taken the day off from work to prepare a special dinner for the two of you. This was the night, you were so sure of it, that the procedure had worked. This was the night that she would announce that she was expecting a child.

Only it didn't work that way.

On this night, she walked into the small apartment the two of you shared. She still had her own penthouse on the Upper West Side, but she rarely stayed there anymore, preferring to share your little apartment that was so much closer to her office.

As soon as she walked in, you could tell something was off. Her normally bright eyes held a sadness that went straight to the very core of her being. You took her in your arms quickly, both of you allowing the tears to escape before words were even spoken. When you pulled back, she took your hand, lowered her gaze, and shook her head.

Once again, her voice pulls you out of your reverie and you can feel the tears prickling your eyes. As if she knows what you're remembering, she instantly lets go of your hand and settles on the couch. You follow like a robot, choosing to settle on the opposite end.

You're both quiet for a few minutes, lost in your thoughts of what could've been and what should've been. "I'm marrying him, Olivia," she finally says, fidgeting with the ring on her left hand.

_Four letter word, but I don't have the guts to say it. Smile 'til it hurts. Let's not make it complicated. We've got a story, but I'm about to change the ending. You're perfect for me, and more than just a friend so we can just stop pretending now. I gotta let you know somehow. I'll be your shelter. I'll be your storm. I'll make you shiver. I'll keep you warm. Whatever weather, baby, I'm yours. Be your forever; be your fling; baby, I will be your everything._

In less time that it takes to blink, your world falls apart. In a way, this is worse than when she was in Witness Protection. At least then you couldn't have her because it was unsafe.

You quickly mask your disappointment, anger, sadness with a smile. "He's a lucky man," you manage to choke out. "I'm really happy for you, Alex."

"Olivia." The way she says your name makes it sound like a final goodbye. In a way, you suppose, it is. "Please, Olivia, say something."

_We used to say that we could always stick together, but who's to say that we could never last forever? Girl, got a question. Could you see yourself with somebody else? 'Cause I'm on a mission, and I don't wanna share. I want you all to myself right now, and I just wanna scream it out. I'll be your shelter. I'll be your storm. I'll make you shiver. I'll keep you warm. Whatever weather, baby, I'm yours. Be your forever; be your fling; baby, I will be your everything._

"There's nothing left to say, Alex." You say, trying – and failing – to conceal the bitterness in your voice. "I just have one question."

"Okay."

"What makes him so much better than me?"

You can tell the question catches her off guard by the way she inhales. "He doesn't know."

"About the Witness Protection?"

"Yes."

You let out a mirthless chuckle. "I'm really happy for you, Alex. I wish you nothing but the best. I hope he makes you really happy." You stand up and walk towards the door.

"Olivia, please," she says, grabbing your wrist.

"I love you, Alex Cabot," you say, walking out of her apartment.

"Even after all this time?"

"Always."

_No matter what you do, I'll be there for you. And every time you close your eyes, I will be by your side. 'Cause every time you make me sing, baby, I will be your everything. I'll be your shelter. I'll be your storm. I'll make you shiver. I'll keep you warm. Whatever weather, baby, I'm yours. Be your forever; be your fling; baby, I will be your everything. _


	3. Open Your Eyes

Title: She's Back Chapter 3

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: The song used in this chapter is "Open Your Eyes" by Snow Patrol. I don't own them or this song. Also, there's a quote from Grey's Anatomy in this chapter. I don't own it either, but it is my new obsession.

Author's Note 3: They may seem a tad out of character in this chapter. That's because that's the only way I could make it work.

.

* * *

Chapter 3: Open Your Eyes

You walk quietly through the empty streets of the Upper East Side, silently hoping you'll turn around and she'll be there, even though you know she won't be.

You hear the splashing of sneakers hitting puddles and quickly spin around. Your breath catches in your chest at the sight of her. At that moment, she's the cutest thing you've ever seen. Her hair, longer and lighten that you remember, is framing her face, soaked from the rain. Her eyes, bluer than they were in her apartment, are brimming with unshed tears.

_All this feels strange and untrue and I won't waste a minute without you. My bones ache, my skin feels cold, and I'm getting so tired and so old._

_The anger swells in my guts and I won't feel the slices and cuts. I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine._

You want nothing more than to take her in your arms and kiss away the tears. But she's not yours anymore, so you don't.

And then she opens her mouth to say something and your lips are suddenly on hers. It's tentative, quick, chaste. Her lips are soft and taste like her strawberry lip gloss. When you pull back, there's no mistaking the look of longing in her eyes. And just for a minute you can forget that she said yes to him when she should've been saying it to you.

But it's only for a minute.

And then the misery comes back two-fold, combining a nauseating mixture of grief, anger, and guilt. You want to flee, run far away and never look back, but she's still looking at you like **that** and it leaves you paralyzed where you stand.

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars 'cause they don't know your soul or your fire. Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room for the last time._

"He's not good enough for you, Alex," you say, staring at your feet. "He doesn't know about your passion or your soul or your fire." She stares at you, unmoving, unflinching. You take a deep breath and look into her eyes. "You came out here, Alex. That means you have a choice to make. And I really don't want you to have to make this choice, but I can't stand that you're with him. So here it is: him or me. I'm sure he's great, but, Alex, I love you in a really, really big 'pretend to like your music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window', unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you." You sigh. "So pick me…choose me…love me." You watch her face, searching for any type of sign.

"Olivia…," she sighs with such resignation that you can't stop yourself from turning on your heels and walking away. "No, Olivia, wait," she yells.

But you don't.

Not until her hand in on your shoulder and she's spinning you around.

_Every minute from this minute now we can do what we like anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine._

"It's always been you," she whispers, her lips a breath away from yours. "Always."

_All this feels strange and untrue and I won't waste a minute without you. _

* * *

Hate it? Love it? Let me know! One more chapter until the end!


	4. Treacherous

Title: She's Back Chapter 4

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This is _not_ the last chapter.

Author's Note 3: This chapter is based on the song "Treacherous" by Taylor Swift.

.

* * *

Chapter 4: Treacherous

_Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch. Out of focus, eye to eye, till the gravity's too much. And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands. And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand._

_This slope is treacherous; this path is reckless. This slope is treacherous and I, I, I like it._

"It's always been you," she whispers, her lips a breath away from yours. "Always."

You look into her glistening blue eyes, searching for a reason to think she's lying. She stares back, her eyes wide with anticipation, her hands still on your shoulders. And you can't look away. It's like she's quicksand and you're being pulled in deeper and deeper. And it makes you feel so vulnerable.

And then she's pressed tight against your body, her hands wrapped in your hair, your hands gripping her hips.

_I can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away. I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay. And all we are is skin and bone trained to get along, forever going with the flow but you're quicksand._

In your apartment, she looks at you through half-close eyes. Your heart beating like a drum, you watch as she advances toward you, her intentions clear in her eyes.

"We can't," you say, your voice surprising yourself.

Alex stops and stares at you, confusion etched all over her face. "What?"

"This," you say, gesturing between the two of you, "can't happen."

"Why not?"

"God, Alex, you're engaged!"

"I'm not," she says, staring intently at the ground.

"What?" you ask, sounding just as confused as she looked.

"I'm not," she says, sighing, "engaged anymore. I left him."

"Why?"

"He's not you. He'll never be you."

She looks at you, blue eyes wide in nervous anticipation. _**This is what you wanted, Benson,**_ you say to yourself. _**This is exactly what you wanted.**_ "Stay," you say, the four-letter word surprising the both of you.

"Are you sure?" she asks timidly.

You nod. You've never been more sure of anything. And you know it may not end well, but at least you'll have tonight.

_Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you and get you alone. Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should, think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive and I will follow you, follow you home. I'll follow you, follow you home._

_This slope is treacherous; I, I, I like it._

* * *

.

Author's Note: One chapter left!


	5. Be the One

Title: She's Back Chapter 5

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter is based on the song "Be the One" by Pete Lesperance.

.

* * *

Chapter 5: Be the One

Early morning sunlight shines in through the white curtains in your bedroom. You crack open your eyes, letting them adjust slowly to the light in the room. You look to your right and notice Alex is curled against you, a happy smile gracing her features.

"You're awake," she says, her voice thick with sleep.

"I am," you say, smiling warmly at her.

"How long have you been up?"

"Just a couple minutes."

"Me too."

_If you could look behind these eyes and read my mind, you'd know I've never wanted for more since I took that faithful dive into the river wide then I washed up on your shore. This is love, I know, I guess 'cause all I wants your happiness, and isn't that what love is for?_

_And I will be there when no one else is there. I will be the one you can lean on, baby. And all you've gotta do is be the one like I'm the one for you, be the one like I'm the one for you._

"I love you," you say, watching her intently for her reaction.

She smiles at you and drapes her arm over your stomach and rests her head on your shoulder. "I love you too," she says.

_Making memories, the kind that never leave and love that will not be denied. And in my final days, when I give my last breath away, I wanna lay there by your side. 'Cause life is short, but you can bet this one isn't over yet. You make it too good to be alive._

"What are you thinking about?" she asks, startling you out of your thoughts.

"You," you answer honestly.

She blushes lightly. "Me?"

You nod. "I should've married you when I had the chance. Now we've missed out on so much time together."

"You wanted to marry me?"

"I still want to marry you. I want to spend forever with you, Alex."

"Then let's do it."

"What?"

"Let's get married."

"Now?"

"Not right now. Soon."

"Okay," you say, kissing her cheek.

"Okay," she says, resting against you. "Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

.

That's an awfully abrupt ending. I hope it was up to par for all of you. This was the final chapter. It's been a pleasure reading all of your reviews. You are all truly the greatest readers ever. Also, be sure to keep an eye out for my newest one-shot "8 ways" that should be up late tonight (Friday) or early Saturday morning.


End file.
